Andy Borowitz: My Idea of a Heartwarming Story

Radio industry voices approval, frustration at Ted Williams story
There is no doubt that Ted Williams has an amazing voice. It's a voice that only belongs behind a microphone announcing a Basketball game, voicing an Infomercial, reading the news or reminiscing with us on our favorite oldies station. And who doesn't love a story about someone getting a second chance at life? It's inspiring to know that when we might need that second chance or if we are looking for one right now, there's hope. To see the outpouring of jobs, opportunities and ...

Nagging Questions As Ted Williams Saga Unfolds
In this photo taken in late December, 2010, Ted Williams holds a sign advertising his smooth radio voice near a highway ramp in Columbus, Ohio. Why come to grips with a big, messy social problem like Homelessness? So much easier — isn’t it? — to shower job offers, cash payments and network-TV time on one Homeless guy who happens to have a really nice voice? This is perfect: the low-cost, feel-good way of addressing America’s nagging ills, just in time for the small-govern...

Ted Williams: My Time with the Homeless Man with the Golden Voice
I met Ted Williams, the Homeless man with the golden voice who became a viral sensation, in a high-class dope den just before his descent into the world of Addiction. He struck me as one cool dude even back then. By Mansfield Frazier...

Since When are Deadbeat Dads Pop Culture Icons?
By now you've all see the story of the Homeless guy with the great voice, Ted Williams, as he's been making the rounds on television. But for years we've been told what worthless lowlifes deadbeat fathers are. So why all of a sudden the change in attitude? Don't get me wrong, I'm all for giving people a second or third chance, but let's not overlook the fact the guy is a deadbeat who's left a trail of misery and a broken family. So before we all get all misty-eyed over his shot at redemption, ...

'Golden-Voice' Man Credit's God for Redemption
The Ohio Homeless man with a golden voice explained Friday how a YouTube video transformed his life, bringing in multiple job offers for announcing work. Just days ago, footage shot by The Columbus Dispatch showcased Ted Williams' voice and made him an overnight sensation. It even led to a reunion with his 90-year-old mother Julia Williams. Watch the video here . In an interview with ABC News' "Good Morning America" Friday, mother and son recognized God as the source of Williams' redemption....

Advice To Golden-Voiced Ted Williams: Listen To Your Mom
What is this? Ted Williams, the Homeless man with the golden voice who's gone from the streets of Columbus, Ohio, to nationwide fame this week because of a Columbus Dispatch video, made another appearance on NBC's Today Show this morning — this time with his 90-year-old mother Julia. As we've reported, they were reunited yesterday (after 10 years apart, not 20 as previously thought). Today, they talked about his years of Drug Abuse, petty crime and Homelessness and the shame they brought o...

So Much Unseen
Before Ted Williams hit the viral big time I had the original YouTube video linked on my Facebook page, for I hoped the evolution starkly demonstrated how easy it is to apparently see and classify a Homeless person as unemployable yet be completely blind to their talents and potential. For some reason Epistemology has been branded a “ten dollar word” of intellectual nerds, but it’s simply the process of answering the question how do you know what you know? Many times the answer induces mil

Selective Compassion and the Pathologies of Inequality
© Columbia Broadcasting System Ted Williams kisses his mom, Julia Williams, on The Early Show "We believe in second chances and second opportunities," declared the senior vice president for marketing from the Cleveland Cavaliers. This pronouncement accompanied the offer of an announcing job to Ted Williams, the Homeless man whose "golden" voice and impoverished visage went viral on a YouTube video. Beyond his elevation by the media to visible and viable economic status, Williams became a ...

Forget the Homeless Radio Guy, Actual Hero Is His Ex-Wife
Photo: Today Show/NBC While the rest of the world cooed and melted over the story of Ted Williams's unexpected ascent from Homeless man with a talent for radio to Viral Video sensation and Cleveland Cavaliers announcer, we also sobbed gently into our keyboard remained unmoved. Sure this was an uplifting instance of rare second chances and dreams coming true, but what about other Homeless people who aren't blessed with a golden voice? Where is the Internet on that, huh? Now tha...

Homeless Man with Golden Voice is Actually a Druggie Deadbeat Dad
As usual, the Mainstream Media are a mile wide and an inch deep.  They have made a media sensation out of someone who is a despicable loser, crook and irresponsible parent.    I have not sunk to such depths as this jerk Ted Williams.  Why can’t normal people like ME, with radio experience and who needs a GOOD full-time job, get a job with the Cleveland Cavaliers?   Why does it have to be an undeserving dreg of society who deserves a “second chance&#...

Im Ready reddy red ted Im reddy~ & other important news
Ted Williams, the Homeless guy from Columbus, Ohio with a golden voice got his life changed by the Internet! A dude with a camera asked him to make good on displaying the “God Given GIft” advertised on his begging sign, and Mr. Williams, a former radio announcer whose life went sour when he turned to Alcohol and drug, delivered. The video was put on the internet, and the whole world got to listen to Ted’s talent. Within a day the Viral Video has been seen over 3 million times, ...

Not to sound like a grump, but...
The story of the you-can't-make-this-up-named Ted Williams, the Homeless man with the golden pipes who has in just a few days gone from the street to media darlinghood, is a lovely one. But the insanity surrounding the multiple offers and the relentless media self-congratulation on giving a hidden gem the exposure warranted by a media that loves a resonant voice disguises the larger problem of Homelessness in this country. Mr. Williams, for all his golden voice, has a backstory that fits what mo...

Turns Out the Homeless Man with the Golden Voice Had a Home to go to All Along ...
A Viral Video vaulted Ted Williams and his golden voice to fame, but the real hero of this story is the woman he left behind. Patricia Kirtley raised four daughters alone after Williams split 23 years ago and dove down the rabbit hole of drugs. Not only that, Kirtley took in the baby boy the radioman had with another woman and raised him as her own. Oh, and by the way, she's partially blind. "We survived," Kirtley said Thursday in Reynoldsburg, Ohio. "My Children are survivors. They know if we g...

Sour note for man with golden voice sparks
A feel-good story about a Homeless man with a radio-voice from heaven has been soured by a war of words between two American broadcast networks. Ted Williams, a former DJ who had fallen on hard times, was a roadside beggar until a video of his singing went viral, bringing him more job offers and interview requests than there are stations on the dial. Now CBS is accusing NBC of blocking a meeting it had set up with his mother, Julia, whom he had not seen for 10 years. NBC claims its rival has sab...

Bronx Residents Also Angry About Homeless Invasion
jtshockley's flickr Residents in the Highbridge neighborhood of The Bronx are angry after officials unilaterally converted a shelter for Homeless families into a facility housing only men. Similar to concerns from UWS residents yesterday, Highbridge locals say that the new influx of Homeless people are making their neighborhood much more dangerous. " They're out here at all hours of the night, creeping around and you don't know what they're going to do. They're always either smoking, drinking ...

Sour note for man with golden voice
A feel-good story about a Homeless man with a radio-voice from heaven has been soured by a war of words between two American broadcast networks. Ted Williams, a former DJ who had fallen on hard times, was a roadside beggar until a video of his singing went viral, bringing him more job offers and interview requests than there are stations on the dial. Now CBS is accusing NBC of blocking a meeting it had set up with his mother, Julia, whom he had not seen for 10 years. NBC claims its rival has sab...

Advice To Golden-Voiced Ted Williams: Listen To Your Mom
What is this? Ted Williams, the Homeless man with the golden voice who's gone from the streets of Columbus, Ohio, to nationwide fame this week because of a Columbus Dispatch video, made another appearance on NBC's Today Show this morning — this time with his 90-year-old mother Julia. As we've reported, they were reunited yesterday (after 10 years apart, not 20 as previously thought). Today, they talked about his years of Drug Abuse, petty crime and Homelessness and the shame they brought o...

The viral story of the homeless man with the golden voice
Ted Williams - the Homeless man with the golden voice: In a matter of days the video went viral and Williams became the toast of New York: Via Greg Hengler on YouTube: Homeless Man Finds Love & Mercy, Thanks God For It The job offers kept pouring in, and he ended up doing "The Today Show:" Visit MSNBC.com for breaking news, world news, and news about The Economy Visit MSNBC.com for breaking news, world news, and news about The Economy Visit MSNBC.com for breaking news, world news, and news...

Homeless Man With 'Golden Radio Voice' Gets His Chance
The Homeless man with the "golden radio voice" wanted a second chance -- and did he ever get it. As soon as Ted Williams, a panhandler who became an online hit after video of him begging on an Ohio roadside was posted to the Internet, appeared on a local Radio Show this morning the offers began pouring in -- including a dream job with the Cleveland Cavaliers and a free house. "The Cleveland Cavaliers just offered me a full-time job and a house! A house! A house!," repeated a stunned Williams...

Homeless Video Star Offered Movie Role
(NewsCore) - Global sensation Ted Williams, the Homeless man with the pitch-perfect voice, has been offered a role in a Jack Nicholson movie, Entertainment Tonight reported Thursday. The 53-year-old Ohio man has been flooded with job offers after showcasing his pitch-perfect voice in a YouTube video recorded by a Columbus Dispatch reporter. He is currently weighing up an offer as an announcer for NBA's Cleveland Cavaliers and was offered a commercial stint recording an ad for Kraft Macaroni & Ch...

Silky-Voiced Homeless Man Copes With Sudden Fame
NEW YORK (CBS 2/AP) — A Homeless man from Ohio who quickly became a celebrity thanks to his smooth announcing voice indicates it’s been challenging dealing with the rush of fame. “I wanted a nerve pill yesterday, to be honest with you,” Ted Williams said Friday on CBS’ “Early Show.” The 53-year-old recovering addict said a psychologist talked him out of it. “She said, ‘Listen, you’re going to have to learn to meditate and not medicate,&...

Someday, the Homeless Will Wear Ed Hardy
It hurts. ​So, Super Top Secret, an interactive design and advertising shop based in Utah, has embarked on a plan to make the world "less sucky." They've printed up a bunch of T-shirts, and they're offering one of those shirts to anyone who will send in their own "heinous Affliction or Ed Hardy tee." They will donate said heinous tee to the Homeless, making for what they describe as a win win situation: You get some rad new gear and at the same time help bring this gaudy, glittery, gold-...

Police's homeless murder appeal
Police have appealed for help in tracking the last hours of a Homeless man found murdered in Swansea city centre. David Michael Alan Williams, 26, was found outside the Iceland Supermarket in St David's Square at 0400 GMT on Friday, 7 January. Two men are still being questioned. Det Supt Burke, of the South Wales Police major crime investigation team, said Mr Williams was hmoeless and sleeping on the streets of Swansea city centre. "We are also appealing to anyone who saw any persons i...

Behold, The First Ted Williams Voiceover Ad
This morning Ted Williams got emotional during his (second) Today show appearance, talking about his first voiceover job since he's been saved from the streets. The job was for Kraft Macaroni & Cheese, and will air for the first time on Sunday night, but the company already has it up on the YouTube because they have a very smart marketing department. Watch it below, really puts us in the mood for some cheesy noodles topped with golden brown breadcrumbs. Contact the author of this article or em...

To-Do List: The Suspicious Bagel Edition
To know : President Obama picked William Daley, who was the commerce secretary under President Clinton, as the next White House Chief of Staff, and is expected to appoint Gene Sperling, another Clinton-era Veteran, as the new head of his National Economic Council today. Unemployment fell in December to its Lowest Level since May 2009, from 9.8 to 9.4 per cent. And a Professor was arrested and removed from an airplane for having a “Suspicious Package” in the overhead compartment that ...